Things i dislike/hate.

Hate is a strong word. But sometimes, i really have to use this word. In a couple of situations and stuff. Hmm. Let's list it all down.

-I hate it when smart people keep saying that they are going to fail their test, but end up getting top scores.
-I hate people who are dishonest.
-I hate people who break my trust.
-I hate people who are proud and egoistic.
-I hate it when people insult others.
-I hate people who cheat on relationships.
-I hate people who break other people's relationships.
-I hate liars.
-I hate players.
-I hate rude and disrespectful people.
-I hate it when someone acts like they are tough and unbeatable.
-I hate it when people keep interrupting in the middle of a conversation.
-I hate people who pretend to be friends, but backstab you while you are unaware.
-I hate people who take what is mine.
-I hate it when my phone runs out of battery at the wrong times.
-I dislike it when nothing goes according to plan.
-I hate it when i always try hard for a test, but ends up getting crappy results.
-I hate getting wronged.
-I hate taking the blame for something i didn't do.
-I hate my overthinkingness, my insecurities, my jealousy.
-I dislike my over-caringness, sometimes.
-I hate it when people ignore me.
-I hate it when life keeps on throwing obstacles at me. And i always do my best to make it right, but it is never enough.
-I hate it when my best isnt good enough.
-I hate my moodswings.
-I hate my ability to take everything to heart.
-I dislike me for always being so hard on myself.
-I dislike it when i try so hard for others, but they dont do the same.
-I hate myself for thinking so much.
-I dislike people who give up so easily without even trying.

The list can go on and on. I guess there are really a lot of things that i dont like. Hmph. But i am only human.

Just because there are many things i dislike, doesn't mean there is nothing i like.

Sometimes, i hate myself.

Offer.

To tell you the truth, i don't have much to offer. But i'll still give you everything i've got, even if it's barely anything at all. I'll give you late thoughts, long hugs, someone to talk to, someone to care for, someone who will always be here for you, a hand to hold, somebody to lean on. And if that's not enough, just know that you have all of me. And you have someone who will not give up on you, someone who truly cares for you, someone who may not be perfect, but is most definitely worth it. You have this special someone that no one else can have.

I don't have much to offer, but still, i offer my all to you.

Just me.

Me. Complicated. Ridiculous. Insignificant. Retarded. Random. Insecure. Overthinking. My flaws. Everyone has them. Can't avoid them.

I am always hard on myself. I blame no one but me. Because i believe, if i take the blame, no one else should have to. Because i believe, that i wont be left alone if i do. Because i believe, that no matter what happens, its always my fault. Why. Why am i so hard on myself. I don't know.

Maybe i should treat myself better.
Maybe i should have more faith in myself.
Maybe i should trust myself more.
Maybe i have to believe, harder.

Why.

Why. There are so many questions racing through my head. And honestly, i have no idea what the answer to these questions are. I guess they are meant to remain anonymous, arbitrary, for now.

-If we are all born into this earth for a reason, then why do we have to die?
-Who actually sets the basic rules? Who actually gets to decide whether this is wrong or right?
-Who decided that men must wear suits and ties, and women must wear skirts or dresses?
-Who named the seven colours?
-If the brain was the master control of all our body parts, then did it name itself 'the brain'?
-Why do people all like to chase after a career so badly?! I mean, i know it is to make more money. But more money doesnt make you happy. Infact, having more money gives you the stress to try to maintain it.
-Why is society so stressful right now?
-What if a kid dreamed to become something other than what society had intended? What if a kid aspired to be something greater?
-Why are humans all so complicated?
-How is it possible that such a small brain can store information of a lifetime?
-We believe what we are told. Yet, we hear from other human beings. And there is one thing i know, and that is that humans make mistakes. Because we are not perfect. So, can we really believe everything that others say?
-Every single day, we people are competing with one another, fighting against one another. But in order for mankind to succeed, to improve, shouldnt we fight together with one another instead of against each other?
-Who actually decided for the world to be just like this one right now?
-Humans have the power to change the world. Yet on the quest to help mankind, we are actually destroying our own planet. Why doesnt anyone see this?
-What makes humans tick?
-What if the world itself was an illusion?
-What if we are just ghosts of our past? And we are actually from the future, just living our life as memories in the past?
-What lies in the future?
-What is life?

I may never find out the answers to these questions. But one thing is for sure. All i have to do live my life to the fullest extent right now. Slowly but surely, some of the answers to these questions might just become known.

Maybe i have to stop thinking so much.

Learn to fly. :)

Switch on the sky and the stars glow for you.
Go see the world 'cause it's all so brand new.
Don't close your eyes because your future's ready to shine.
It's just a moment of time, before we learn how to fly.
Look all around at the mountains we haven't climbed.
It's just a moment of time, before we learn how to fly.

The above are song lyrics. And the bolded part is a particular part that struck out to me most. I suddenly remembered. Eagles learn to fly by one of the harshest ways ever. They will jump off the top of a mountain and flap their wings incessantly and desperately until they are able to fly. But, during this process, they will crash and injure themselves every time they fail. Yet they do not give up. Even with a body full of injuries, they continue to try and try until they succeed.

Then again, i realise that this could be applied to us humans as well, with the same concept. We will face obstacles. We will face challenges. We will face failures. But the important thing is to never give up and keep on trying. It is normal to fail. Failure is a part of life. But through failure, we are able to learn from our mistakes and alter ourselves to do even better. Just like how those birds kept on trying, we just have to persevere and keep doing our best. One day, we WILL succeed.

Look all around at the mountains we haven't climbed. Look at all the obstacles that we have not faced yet. Once we go through everything, be it failure or depression or stress, we will succeed soon. We will make it. We will become even harder, better, faster, stronger. So to everyone out there. If you think that right now, life isnt going too smoothly for you, fret not. Success is just reaching our doorsteps. Persevere a while longer, and trust me. It will be worthwhile. :)

Life is like a bow. Obstacles and difficulties pull you back, but it just means that you are going to be propelled further forward, into success.
If life isn't going too well for you right now, just remember. The airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.
Only in the darkness, you are able to see the stars.
Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.

Don't give up. Because there is always light at the end of a tunnel. Hope will always be present. We just have to look deep.

Nice guys.

I have always been hearing this phrase: "Nice guys finish Last." And i am wondering if this is true, or not. I mean, it seems kinda true, to a certain extent. Nice guys always tend to be....invisible. Always the people at the back of the entire process, silently supporting everyone else and helping out. These are the guys who dont ask for anything in return. They are just born this way. To give and never receive.

But ofcourse, always giving and helping and all...it gets tiring. Especially when no one seems to notice. And no one seems to care. In fact, so many people have actually taken these nice guys for granted. And sometimes, i wonder, do people actually notice all the little things that these nice guys have done for us? Or is it all just invisible?

In our every day lives, nice guys can be found. You just have to look harder.
Nice guys are the kind of people who would lend you anything if you need them.
Nice guys are the kind of people who would sacrifice themselves for their friends.
Nice guys are those who look out for their friends silently and protectively.
Nice guys are the people who volunteerily help look after your stuff while you're gone.
Nice guys are those who would take the blame on your behalf.
Nice guys are the type of people who would buy food or snacks for you if they knows that you have not eaten.
Nice guys are those who care more about your opinions than their own.
Nice guys would rather you be happy than them. They value other people's happiness over their own.
Nice guys wait for you, no matter how long it takes.
Nice guys tolerate every single crap that you can come up with, without making a single word of complaint.
Nice guys worry about friends and their safety, and they always watch your backs.
And the list goes on and on

But don't you see? Nice guys are humans too. Sometimes, they also want to be cared for as well. Some of them long to be treated the way that they treat others. It never happens though.

I mean, everyone knows about neilarmstrong, the first guy to step on the moon. But who knows about his helpers? His partners? No one. Because everyone only notices and cares about the outsider hero. And no one realises the heroes on the inside. This has no link to nice guys, but i just wanted to say, most successful people have friends who are nice people and support them to reach the top. No one will notice them. No one will give any recognition for them. But they are always here with us, supporting us in whatever way they can.

Take a look around. Nice guys are always in our lives, we just have to know their importance and we will see them. Do not ever take them for granted. Because without them, we would be nothing. Appreciate whatever they have done for you. And return the favour. They want to be cared about as well.

So appreciate and treasure these nice guys. Because all that they do, they do it for us. And don't take them for granted. Because the world might run out of such people soon.

I guess i am one of those people.

The man in the mirror.

Always keep the ball in the middle of the court.
And don't for a second let that little voice in your mind speak if all it wants to say is "What If".
I know we all come from different walks of life.
Maybe you had a mum and dad that gave you everything.
Maybe you had a mum and dad that gave you nothing.
Or maybe you had a mum and dad that weren't even there for you.
Regardless on how you were brought up, doesn't make you better, stronger or weaker than anybody else.
Call yourself out on your own imperfections.
It's a good way to start improving your faults.
And if it's something that can't be fixed, make a joke out of it.
Because in the end,
It's who you are.
That is attractive when people are realistic, especially with themselves.

Protect the word "Love"
For when you actually do use it, it will mean more than ever before.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Find out what it really means to you.
Because when you do, you will look at everyone differently.
We are all equal no matter what god you believe in.
Don't brag about how successful you are.
For the most successful people i know today,
Are the ones that rarely use the word "I".

Dance when you hear music.
Nothing should stop you if you're being overtaken by the spirit of song.

Take pictures.
Lots and lots of pictures.

Being annoying is annoying. So don't be annoying.

Failure.
Can't dodge it, it's just a part of life.
Whether you failed a test, failed at work, or failed with your heart.
At least you can say, 
You took the test, you have a career, and you've been in love.
Because somewhere in the middle of wherever,
Is a person, where everything i just described, is nothing but an image they can only enjoy in their sleep.

Listen to music.
Lose yourself in the music. The moment you own it, you better never let it go. You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow.

So in this case, always be prepared.
Now we want a photo, you already know though, you only live once, that's the motto, Y.O.L.O.
I guess for some, taking a picture deserves the word Y.O.L.O.
As for me, I'll take it as Live every moment as if it's your last.
And if you start at the bottom, and you wanna get there.
Just remember.

It all starts with the man in the mirror.

Live, Laugh, Love.

A sudden thought. Or should i say, a small realization.

Life is...unpredictable. Anything can happen in a blink of an eye. I don't know what made me think this way, but i guess it just a sudden thought. Or maybe because of that car accident nightmare, but whatever. So why waste our time on this planet?

Live. We have got to live each and every day as if it were our last. We have to live without any regrets. Because a life full of regrets is a life not worth living for. So lets live our lives. Do whatever makes us happy, and not whatever the world wants us to do. Because this is our life, our fight. The world can take away our everything, but it can't take away our soul.

Laugh. Be happy. Enjoy the good times. Laughing is a way of showing that you are really happy. It never lies. Be free and laugh and have fun. Because we will never know when our laughter will cease to exist. Laughter is the best medicine. It always helps whenever we are feeling down or lonely or emo. Laugh more, and smile more.

Love. Love like you've never loved before. When in love, give it your all. Treasure each other, enjoy the good times together, take many photos, be happy together, go through tough times together, accept each other's flaws, love only one. A heart that loves is a young heart. Treasure who you love. Because you'll never know a good thing til its gone. Always treat him/her as a priority, and not an option. Care for him/her, and dont ignore or throw them to one side. Trust each other and be together as one, in mind, heart and soul. Love truly and wholeheartedly.

Live, Laugh, Love. The three essentials of life.

My mirror.

Cause i don't wanna lose you now,
I'm looking right at the other half of me.
The vacancy that sat in my heart,
Is a space that now you hold.
Show me how to fight for now,
And i'll tell you baby, it was easy
Coming back into you once i figured it out,
You were right here all along.
It's like you're my mirror,
My mirror staring back at me.
I couldn't get any bigger,
With anyone else beside of me.
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one.
Cause you're like my mirror,
My mirror staring back at me.~

Nightmare.

It had been awhile since i've had a nightmare. To be honest, nightmares are scary. They always seem so vivid. They almost seem real.

I had this nightmare. Of me. Myself. In an accident. Involving a car. I can still remember it vividly in my head. The colour of the car. The impact. The feeling of a heavy object smashing into my legs at full force. The feeling of my bones all breaking. I can imagine it all. I still remember...i was told i wasnt going to live for long.

I woke up in sweat. My legs felt cramped and numb at that time. I was panting. It all felt so...real. but the main takeaway was regret. Yes. If i died. Who was the last person that i communicated with? How would my loved ones react? What was the last message that i sent to you? I would die full of regrets, knowing that i had not done anything crazy and fun and memorable in my life. Regret because i wasnt able to complete my life. Regret because there was still many stuff that i still wanted to do, with you. Regret of not having enough time.

No, no. I don't want to die full of regrets.