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Sometimes i wish you'd be more understanding.

My best is never enough.

To you, i am just another replaceable dancer. To you, i am never good enough. To you, i am just someone incapable of doing anything right.

Yes, i know i dont have any talent in dancing. I dont have flexibility, i dont have strength, i learn slow, i cant use my emotions to dance, i make alot of mistakes. And yes, i know hongjun is a very talented dancer, he dances well and basically does a better job than me. BUT NO ONE WORKS HARDER THAN ME WHEN IT COMES TO DANCING I CAN BET WITH YOU. I got to the standard i am at now, all due to sheer hard work. I climbed out of the shithole because i worked so fucking hard to perfect my imperfections. I try my best at everything i do. SO WHO ARE YOU TO JUST TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING I'VE WORKED FOR??

By telling him to learn my moves and take over me, what the fuck do you think i would feel?? So basically, from the beginning til now, all my work hard, all my extra effort put in, all the blood and sweat spent, all the energy i invested, so now they all go down the drain as if they never existed?? W o w thanks so much man. At that moment when you said those few words, my entire mood just went deep underground. I felt such a strong urge to just slam my prop onto the ground, pack up my bag and just leave.

Fine then, if you want it that way, hj can just replace me for all i care. Then i quit, i give up. Do whatever the fuck you want, i dont care anymore. Just take it that you have lost a student, because this student's soul for dance has been broken by your words. No more. Do what you want, i no longer give a fuck.

Solitude.

The way life appears to me. All at once and much, much too completely. It was like you suddenly turned a blinding light on something that had always been half in shadow, that's how it is for me.

Believe it or not, the me a few years ago is totally different from the me today. What happened? Well to put it simply, life happened. Yes it's true, everyone faces obstacles in life. No one's life is ever easy or obstacle-free. But then again, some people's lives are harder than others. For me, i guess you can say that my life is overflowing with problems. Notice how i used the word overflowing. In fact, every single day is a challenge to me. My life is most probably 10x harder than any other 18 year old. I kid you not.

I mean, it ranges from depression and bad acad grades and very low self-esteem and retaining and not having many friends ((legit just a handful)) and just being that invisible and insignificant guy. There are so many more troubles i have but i'll spare you the agony of listing down everything. It's hard to live each day like this.

But i must confess, i have gotten used to this kind of lifestyle; a solitary one. Yes i am lonely most of the time, but i dont dislike being so. In fact, i enjoy my times of solitude. No i am not being emo and shit hahaha im serious! I am the guy who sits alone at a corner of a room full of people. I am the guy who very much prefers being alone in his room with a book cupped in both hands. I am the guy who would rather stay home alone all day every day than to go out and socialize or interact or whatever. I shun away from places with many people because people make me feel uncomfortable and tense. I wouldn't mind travelling long distances alone.

Afterall, i am very much used to this way of lifestyle. A lifestyle of solitude.

Revival?

Wow. It has been ages since i opened this app...too busy and too lazy, which pretty much explains my inactivity ((a really long time period too)) oops HAHAHA but fret not, i do have plans to start posting again! Thats if laziness doesnt get the better of me heh.
I've got a physics test tmr and i must say, physics is the bane of my existence. I mean like really, have i told you guys how much i hate physics???? If i havent, then now you know. I really really reaaally HATE PHYSICS WTFNSNSKSNSN -___- If time could turn back, i would N E V E R take physics. Seriously man, me and physics just not meant to be LOLOL

And henceforth, i am going to bed. Cos idgaf about physics anymore ((i probably still do but no)). Peace!

No Restrictions; No Limits.

Here's the irony. The more educated we get, the dumber we are. And by dumber, i don't mean dumb in terms of academics or grades. What i mean is, the more educated we get, the less we actually know. In many cases, people fail to actually see whats hidden. People will always see what others want them to see. Opinions are slowly being eradicated, and now most people only know how to give politically correct answers.

Here's a simple example:

And the scenario goes like this.
""You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining very heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus;

*An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
*An old friend who once saved your life.
*The perfect partner you have been dreaming of, your soulmate, the guy/girl of your dreams.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?""

Most, in fact all, people would think this as a moral/ethical dilemma. And ofcourse, most people would choose to give the old lady the ride.

Now, let's try this again, this time cast away all forms of limits and let your mind run wild, let all the possibilities flow in. Ready?

Here is my answer:
""I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the old lady to the hospital. And me? Well, I'll stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.""

Don't let anything hold back your mind. Let creativity flow through, and unblock all forms of restrictions. Think outside of the box and even further. Because without any limits, we can go so much further.

Life

Life can be just like a guitar. In our hands, it could become anything; a baseball bat, or a back-stratcher, or a paperweight, or even a door stopper. It can still function, but not to its fullest potential. Only in the maker's hands, the guitar can be tuned and play music, hence bringing out the fullest potential of it.

Life is just like this guitar. Under our own hands, our own dreams and expectations, life can be lived, except not in the most fulfilling way. Only when we draw back to God, only when we let God take over our lives, then our lives can be brought to its fullest potential.

Happiness.

Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.