Remember.

If you've ever doubted yourself, walk deep into the forest.
Notice how the trees still stand tall;
even though they are given no recognition.
Walk along any stream;
the water still flows, though no one stops to praise it.
Watch the stars late at night;
they shine without acknowledgement.

Humans are just the same. We are made out of the same elements as these beautiful wonders. Always remember your beauty and self-worth.

.

"I am not happy. I am not unhappy. I am frozen somewhere in the middle that is so much worse. I am nowhere. Nothing is happening and i am getting more and more sad."

My eyes hurt because i can't sleep.
But i can't sleep because my head hurts from serious anxiety.
I'm a poet who can't write, an intellect who can't excel academically, i'm drowning in my own failures and i've never been good at asking for help.
I feel mentally claustrophobic and i don't know how, but right now i'd just like to relax.

That special someone who can.

You know what? Fuck the saying "no one will love you until you love yourself." That's bullshit. Loving yourself is fucking hard. You have to see your imperfections everyday and every night you have to deal with your own thoughts and your own skin.

Fuck that saying, because even if you totally hate yourself, someone can still find you breathtaking. They can want to fix you. Just because you dont love yourself, doesnt mean someone wont want to show you what there is to love. Even when you dont love yourself, someone can still show you how. That special someone can show you what there is to love about yourself.

In my shoes.

Every single day is like a battle. Because of certain decisions i've made, it led to many undesirable circumstances. And the only solution is for me to suck it up and keep silent. Because no one understands my pain, no one understands what i go through each day. These few days gave me a taste of what life would be like for the rest of my days.

People come to me to say words of comfort. Meaningless words of comfort. Because all they say, is how good it can actually be. But in actual fact, if they were given the choice, they wouldnt do the same as what i did. They wouldnt be in my shoes even if they had a choice.

Here i am, surrounded by people i know almost nothing about. And all i can only do, is to see the people i once called my friends, drift away from me. Everyone's moving forward. I'm stuck at the same spot. Soon, i'll be left behind and forgotten. It hurts to see your friends walk away. It hurts to see other people who dont understand, look at me with those piercing eyes. Those eyes that judge me and constantly jab at my self esteem. Its unavoidable and inevitable.

I just wish i can find back the strength to overcome all these obstacles. I wish i can ignore others. I wish i can be more confident with myself. I wish i didnt have such low self esteem. I wish i could be better. I wish i can be strong.

Without timekeeping.

Try to imagine a life without timekeeping.

You probably can't. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or in your house. You have a schedule, a calendar, an appointment, a time for dinner or a movie or whatever.

Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check his watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays.

Man alone measures time.

Man alone chimes the hour.

And because of this, Man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures.

A fear of time running out.

Society.

We blame society, yet we fail to realise that each and every one of us makes up society.
Everyone should realize that we are each living, breathing human beings; all with our own struggles.
We all go home and stare at the mirror wishing we could be someone different.
We all struggle to find our place in this world.
We. All. Have. Our. Own. Struggles.
So why go out of your day to make someone else's worse, when you can simply move on with your life, or even better, help someone else out for a change.
Because, you see, if you live in a world where everyone blames society, you might as well blame yourself.
Because you are a part of society too.