In my shoes.

Every single day is like a battle. Because of certain decisions i've made, it led to many undesirable circumstances. And the only solution is for me to suck it up and keep silent. Because no one understands my pain, no one understands what i go through each day. These few days gave me a taste of what life would be like for the rest of my days.

People come to me to say words of comfort. Meaningless words of comfort. Because all they say, is how good it can actually be. But in actual fact, if they were given the choice, they wouldnt do the same as what i did. They wouldnt be in my shoes even if they had a choice.

Here i am, surrounded by people i know almost nothing about. And all i can only do, is to see the people i once called my friends, drift away from me. Everyone's moving forward. I'm stuck at the same spot. Soon, i'll be left behind and forgotten. It hurts to see your friends walk away. It hurts to see other people who dont understand, look at me with those piercing eyes. Those eyes that judge me and constantly jab at my self esteem. Its unavoidable and inevitable.

I just wish i can find back the strength to overcome all these obstacles. I wish i can ignore others. I wish i can be more confident with myself. I wish i didnt have such low self esteem. I wish i could be better. I wish i can be strong.