Solitude.

The way life appears to me. All at once and much, much too completely. It was like you suddenly turned a blinding light on something that had always been half in shadow, that's how it is for me.

Believe it or not, the me a few years ago is totally different from the me today. What happened? Well to put it simply, life happened. Yes it's true, everyone faces obstacles in life. No one's life is ever easy or obstacle-free. But then again, some people's lives are harder than others. For me, i guess you can say that my life is overflowing with problems. Notice how i used the word overflowing. In fact, every single day is a challenge to me. My life is most probably 10x harder than any other 18 year old. I kid you not.

I mean, it ranges from depression and bad acad grades and very low self-esteem and retaining and not having many friends ((legit just a handful)) and just being that invisible and insignificant guy. There are so many more troubles i have but i'll spare you the agony of listing down everything. It's hard to live each day like this.

But i must confess, i have gotten used to this kind of lifestyle; a solitary one. Yes i am lonely most of the time, but i dont dislike being so. In fact, i enjoy my times of solitude. No i am not being emo and shit hahaha im serious! I am the guy who sits alone at a corner of a room full of people. I am the guy who very much prefers being alone in his room with a book cupped in both hands. I am the guy who would rather stay home alone all day every day than to go out and socialize or interact or whatever. I shun away from places with many people because people make me feel uncomfortable and tense. I wouldn't mind travelling long distances alone.

Afterall, i am very much used to this way of lifestyle. A lifestyle of solitude.